Against my better judgment, I am watching "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC. For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, women trek from all over the country to a particular boutique to try on wedding dresses. Sometimes it is an utter train wreck with girls trying on dresses that our outside their budget or family members picking a part the dream dress; other times you get wrapped up in the love story and get so excited when someone says "yes" to the dress!
I usually try to stay away from this show because it tugs at my heart. God made us to be relational, we seek out relationships with others to fulfill certain needs. My heart longs to meet the man I am going to marry. In the past I have sought out relationships to fill a void in my life, I always thought that once I was in a serious relationships that all my problems would magically melt away. I couldn't have been more wrong! My problems will only become more manageable once I am in an intimate relationship with God and am able to turn to Him for help.
During the past six months my attitudes have changed tremendously when it has come to seeking a relationship with a man. I now know that a relationship isn't about filling a void but sharing a life with someone and for the first time I have faith that God has someone in store for me, he is somewhere out there. He could be someone I already know or a complete stranger, but I know he is there. I used to be hopeless and wonder if a relationship was even possible and now I know it is! I am genuinely excited about what the future holds. My task now is to learn what it means to be in a relationship with someone. I know how to be single but I must learn what it means to be part of something bigger. I've also realized that I don't know how to be courted. I'm so used to playing an active role in pursuing someone that I don't know how to sit back and let it happen to me. God will teach me these lessons over time as He prepares me. I've always said that I want to be with a godly man, and a godly man deserves a godly woman.
I once thought that I had found the man I was going to marry, but then he broke my heart. It took me a very long time to get over him and looking back on that relationship I am embarrassed that I jumped in so quickly. I am very thankful that God ended that story in my life. If He hadn't I wouldn't have meet some of my best friends, become active in church or come to rely on Him more. I believe that I am a far better person today than I was year ago. My faith has grown in leaps and bounds and I can find my significance in Him instead of what I own or what others think about me. I'm in a much better place than I ever could of dreamed of.
I'm excited to see what each new day brings. I know that I am still going to have days when I am sad and lonely but those days will be easier to handle with God beside me. He has great things in store for me and I can't wait to watch everything unfold!
