We got to pray just to make it today!

Yesterday was quite possibly the worst day ever. For those of you who have never had a migraine, I hope you never do. For those of you who have had a migraine, I know that you feel my pain...literally. All I could do yesterday was lay down with my eyes closed. I went back and forth between my bed and couch, desperately trying to get comfortable. I couldn't watch tv, read or listen to music, all were to much of a sensory overload.I was utterly miserable.

I spent 16 hours alternating between sleep and tossing and turning. I would lay with my eyes closed and would wait for sleep to wash over me. During the periods when I was awake, I would pray. My eyes were closed and I was in His presence and at some point would drift back off to sleep. I'm pretty sure I spent more time with God yesterday than probably all week. I prayed for my friends and the hope of blossoming relationships, I prayed for the welfare of my family, I thanked and praised God for all that He is, and I prayed for the families touched by the recent shooting tragedy. In my physical pain I found myself retreating to Him. If at some point you crossed my mind yesterday, you were prayed for. I prayed for my staff and their finals, I prayed for friends that are far away, I prayed for those that I see frequently...

I also prayed for myself.. I prayed for a closer relationship with Him, a place to live and a job come May, patience...lots of patience, that I would serve as a light to those around me, and that I would feel better in the morning! My prayers were like a conversation with a friend. There were no formalities, just a simple conversation. At times I was quiet and listened for His response and He would direct my thoughts or remind me of scripture. I realized I need to spend more time like this, more time in conversation with Him. Not time simply presenting requests or rattling off a laundry list of wants or needs, but time letting my heart speak and taking time to listen to His response.

P.S. For everyone who got the McHammer reference, you rock!!

King David

I wish I was more like King David...well, apart from the concubines, multiple wives, and big time sin. Ever since God gave me the idea to go to seminary, I wanted to get to know David a little better. Why? His journey was not easy and I knew that mine was not going to be either. David was called to be king at a young age and had to wait out the reign of Saul to take his position. Just because David was hand-picked by God didn't mean that he life was going to be like a day at the beach. I know that even though God has called me to return to school full time, it will be a difficult road. I will have to readjust to being in school and the comfortable lifestyle I have come accustom to, will be a thing of the past.

Well, back to me wanting to be more like David...a friend posted a psalm recently and it spoke to my heart. I added it to my journal of scripture and made a mental note to memorize it. I was going through my journal and reading all the other entries from the book of Psalms and was deeply touched by David's love and willingness to trust in God. Over and over again, you read how David is pouring out his heart to his heavenly father. His words show how much he loves God and honors Him.You can see, without a doubt, that David is consumed with God, that He truly is his strength, shield, stronghold, protector, redeemer...the list goes on. I have to admit that sometimes I struggle with this. I know in my mind that God loves me unconditionally and that I am chosen but sometimes that doesn't always translate to my heart. David never wavered, well, there was that incident with Bathsheba but even in his sin he knew God was still there. I think one reason why he didn't repent until Nathan approached him was because David knew that God was still there watching AND loving him.

Our God is a living god, He is with us now. He is watching over us now, He longs for us now! We were created to be in relationship with Him, He wants our undivided attention and love. I wish I could pour out my heart like David did. I know God isn't expecting me to be the author of 150 psalms to show my love and devotion. I can show my love for Him by living my life for Him. David has inspired me to make loving God a priority. In Titus 2, I learned that the more I get to know God and understand Him, the more I will feel His love.Over the past three years, God has become more and more a priority in my life. I continue to seek Him through my quiet times, community group, enrolling in bible studies and prayer. I want to be able to show my love for Him like David did. I'm going to dive into the Psalms and I'm looking forward to learning more about God and seeing Him through the eyes of David. My prayer is that I will strengthen my relationship with God and become more of a woman after God's heart.