But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all
these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33)
During the past two days I have helped two of my beautiful friends confront their singleness while I too was struggling with the same issue. One friend was brought to tears over her current state while the other two of us are reeling from hurt and rejection. I believe that God urged these two women to turn to me so that through encouraging them, I could be reminded of His love for me.
I know that everyone (men and women) struggle with the desire to be in an earthly relationship, but the heavenly relationship is paramount to anything we could ever know here. God created us in His image, don't take that as face value and believe that we were simply created to resemble characteristics. The most important fact to focus on is that He created our hearts just like His, to desire love and relationship above all else. He created Adam and Eve to share in the wonders of the garden and be in constant communion with Him. They knew and felt His presence continually and were content with the love that He lavished upon them. Then there was a small incident with an apple, a serpent and a tree. I think we all know what I'm talking about! That one bite created a ripple effect and we still feel the consequences of one bad decision.
A void was created that day in the garden. A void that would forever exists in our hearts. A void that we will try to fill with worldly desires...possessions, addictions, habits and even love. The only one true love that will fill this void is God. I told one friend this morning that we are already living the greatest love story ever (that was straight from the Holy Spirit!). What man (or woman!) today would accept to be nailed to a cross to show how much they loved another person? Bruno Mars thinks he's gonna take a grenade for you, but when it comes down to it, do you think he would? I know that some people how found sacrificial love in their spouses and truly love like Christ loves us, but their hearts aren't full because of their partner, their hearts are full because their first love is Him.
Being in a relationship isn't going to take away your loneliness, make you feel more beautiful (or handsome), or take away your problems. You'll have a whole new set of problems revolving around two people instead of one. My advice is simple, don't seek what you are looking for in a relationship on earth. I know that's a hard pill to swallow and sometimes I forget to take my daily dose. We have been given the desire to have a relationship because we are supposed to have one with Him above all else! Stop and really think WHY you want to have an earthly relationship. Are you looking for validation? Acceptance? A cure? While you may temporarily find these things, they are fleeting. There are some very lonely married people out there.
When you start an earthly relationship founded upon a heavenly relationship you have so many more opportunities to be successful. Think about all the lessons God is teaching us as singles: communication (daily prayer and confession), listening (discerning His words), putting others first (seeking to please him), patience (waiting on his timing), love (serving others and loving Him), perseverance (a continual walk with Him during highs and lows)...I could go on but I think you get the picture. Creating and maintaining a relationship with Him is equipping your heart for all that an earthly relationship is. Seek Him first and you may begin to see that your motivation and desires to be in a relationship change into something new and even better. You'll find everything you need in Him and learn to love how He loves us.
