Stage 5

During a recent conversation with friends I was labeled as "clingy" when it comes to relationships. I never thought I was until this fact hit me square in the face and I began to think of my behavior in past relationships. I will be the first to admit that I have made some questionable decisions when it comes to guys and been in some unhealthy "relationships" (if that's what you want to call them) and I can see where my behavior stemmed from. I'm not proud of the decisions that I made but now that I see the error in my ways, all I can do is move on from there.

I realize that my clingyness comes from a lack of trust. I put myself in several situations where I was the backup plan for the guy, essentially I was the other woman. I often spent my time wondering if the man of the moment was spending time with the person he truly cared about and what they were doing together. I knew that if I hadn't heard from him that he was with her. I didn't trust these guys and because of this I constantly wanted to know about their whereabouts and what they were doing. I was becoming more and more clingy in my efforts to establish a real relationship.

I've also realized that I am guilty of creating instant relationships with guys that I am interested in; by date number two, I already have us married and with two kids. Whoa, Nellie! I need to put the brakes on this situation fast! I am quickly approaching stage 5 clinger territory. I have got to slow down and learn to appreciate the process. I'm sure I have just scared off any potential single guy that may be reading this! I know that in order to fix this, I have to let go of the hurt and the pain I am carrying around from all my bad relationship decisions. I have to have faith and patience that God is going to bring me through this and bless me with someone that I will be able to trust.

All that I can do now is learn from the past and break the cycle. There is no need to dwell on all the things I did wrong, but to take what I can from each experience and move on. I know that I have the strength to do this, because God has given it to me. He is my strength and everyday I am becoming more of the person He intended me to be.