Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3

All my friends know that I love Coach purses! It is the one brand that I am absolutely devoted to. My current collection hangs on a wall in my spare bedroom like artwork! Although I do love this brand, I refuse to pay retail. All of my purchases have been made at an outlet...with a coupon! My favorite deal was on a large (ok, very large) bag that I paid a fraction of the cost for. I use it for weekend travel, group outings or anytime that I need to tote around a bunch of stuff. One staff member even claimed that he could live in the bag and put it over his head (thanks, Andrew!).

I went to the outlet mall yesterday to find a bag that I had seen a couple of weeks ago. It was a little too pricey at the time, so I thought I'd go back and see if it had been discounted any further. I ended up finding two bags that I desperately wanted. One was the style that I had returned for and the other was a bag that would have been perfect for work. It had plenty of room for my planner, bottle of H-E-B water, notebooks and other work accessories. It was gray and black with the Coach signature C's. I loved it! However, in order to purchase both bags I would have had to put them on my credit card...the credit card that I am trying to pay off. The purchase would have been exactly the amount of one months payment on the card, guilt flooded my body. It wasn't until I made it all the way through the line for the cashier that I decided not to get the bag for work.

Walking around the store, struggling with my decision I had convinced myself that the confidence I got from carrying the bag was worth the additional months payment.I love the confidence that I get from carrying my Coach bags, I hold my head a little higher and I walk with a bit more swagger. It is great! However, by the time it was my turn to pay I realized that I should not get my confidence from a bag with a bunch of little c's on it, but from the big C that has my heart...Christ. Confidence should come from the love that I receive from God and not from something that society has deemed valuable. I should hold my head higher because I know that I get to spend eternity with a King and not from something that can be easy destroyed or taken from me (Matthew 6:19-21).

As I was in line, I was also reflecting on a message that I heard in church a few months ago. JP spoke on James (which is my favorite book) and even used Coach in his example. He was illustrating sin, desire and temptation. His example was about walking by a store (Coach) seeing something that you wanted, knowing you can't afford it but rationalizing the cost anyway. That is exactly what I was doing. The scripture goes on to state that God does not tempt (James 1:13) and that desire gives birth to sin and death (1:14-15). Although God does not tempt, he does test His children. He wants us to grow and mature so that our behavior will change. I have been trying to achieve more control over my financial situation and charging this purchase would have been my old behavior. I realized that this would not please God and I walked away. The reward and confidence that I get from God is far better that the feeling I get from a man made bag. Charging both bags would have been falling to temptation and desire. God's will is that I submit to Him and not to temptation (again, thanks to JP and his message last Sunday).

I realize that I still have a long way to go in my desire to be more like Christ and ridding myself of all the "wants" in my life. However, this was a small victory for me. I overcame my past behavior in order to find fulfillment in God. Jesus paid the greatest price for me already, I don't need a coupon to have a life infused with the kind of confidence that I get from Him. I will walk with a little more swagger because I know I already have everything I need in Him.