Epiphanies

I had the most bizarre dream last night! I was with my sister and my mom and we were at home sorting through possessions of my grandmother's (who is deceased) and several other extended family members were there (who are also deceased). One highlight was that Donnie Wahlberg just happened to be my cousin! Odd, I know! Anyways, at some part during the dream my teeth began to fall out. I vividly remember a hole appeared in one tooth and the center of it popped out. I'm freaking out and my mom is frantically trying to find a dentist on a Saturday morning and I am calling a former staff member who wants to be a dentist asking if she knows anyone that I can go see. This is where either my memory stops or the dream ends. I have no idea if my teeth are ever restored.

I am one of those people that is fascinated by the meaning of dreams, so I roll over in bed, grab my iPhone and immediately begin googling my disturbing dream. I find a pretty lengthy article and dive right in. I'm told that teeth falling out in a dream can symbolize a loss of power, reflect a feeling of rejection or even represent anxieties of being embarrassed. I keep reading and find a spiritual interpretation of my dream, seems that losing teeth can be an illustration of man wandering from God's word and placing too much emphasis on societies perceptions. Bingo!

Lately, I have been dealing with some serious body issues. I have managed to convince myself that a certain guy isn't interested in me because of my size. I have compared myself to other girls he finds attractive and the only conclusion I can come to is that I'm just too big for him. I have no factual information to back this up, just the musings of an over analytical mind. I am trapped in a society where size really does matter and I have let that thought consume my heart and mind. Ugh. I have placed the standards of man over the word of God.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God has made everything beautiful in its time. Proverbs 31 tells us that charm and beauty are fleeting and that character is where the true value is. Genesis tells me that I am made in His image, how can I not love that? God is telling me that I am placing way to much emphasis on what the world says is attractive and not enough on what He says the type of woman I should be. My value isn't found in worldly standards but in heavenly ones. I am much more than just a pretty face. I am loving, caring, giving, supportive, loyal, dependable, smart, fun, and kinda goofy. I love all these qualities and need to work on loving who I am on the outside too.

I'm thankful that God has opened my eyes to the way I have been thinking. I'm glad that Joseph wasn't the only one He spoke to in dreams! I'm still going to continue working out and attempting to eat better but my motivation as changed; no longer will it be to catch the eye of a boy but to become healthier and feel more confident for myself. My beauty is captured in my soul and my heart, that's what I want to be loved for.