Hurry up and wait...

I love it when God speaks to me!! I sat down with my bible for quiet time and before I opened His word I asked him to reveal to me what he wanted me to know. I have been a hot mess lately all because I have been working off of my own timeline and in the vain of being completely authentic...I've been mad at God. I've been desperately trying to figure out the answers to several questions and trying to understand the current predicament that I am in, knowing full well that I am not going to get those answers or gain that understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

I opened my bible to where I had left off, I was following along with The Journey and was reading about Noah. I was in the part where the rain had stopped but Noah was unsure if the ground was there. He kept sending out birds to figure out if it was time to leave the ark. He sent out a raven, and waited...sent out a dove and waited...sent out another dove and waited...that's when I had my "aha moment", there is a whole lotta waiting in the bible! This is a consistent theme through His word! I know I have mentioned in several posts that I am the worst waiter in the world. I hate to wait. Why can't things just happen? I mean, I'm on a timeline, here people, I don't have all day. However, it is helpful to know that I am not the only person who has ever been plagued by the disease of waiting.  

"Poor, poor, Joseph, whatcha gonna do?". What would be worse than your own flesh and blood selling you off into slavery? I know Allison (my big sister) tried to convince me that I was adopted when I was younger but at least she never tried to sell me (or I hope not!). Joseph in deed had it rough. He had all these amazing dreams, so he knew something was in store for him, but had to bide time in jail because of pesky Potiphar's wife. He had a lot of time on his hands to wait...

Sarah wanted nothing more than to have children. God even promised her she would! Today it is still an emotional roller-coaster for women who are trying to conceive, and even worse for those who are unable to. Sarah wanted nothing more than to bless Abraham with a family of his own. She even went far enough to send in her servant to lay with Abraham, clearly that was not one of her best decisions, but her dreams and wants outweighed her faith in God's timing.

For those of you that know me really well, you know that I have this silly giggle that I do when I am super excited about something. It is not like my normal laugh but indeed a giggle! Well, I know without a doubt that when I get to heaven, that giggle is going to ensue like crazy!! I know I will be humbled before Jesus and our heavenly father, but when I get to meet Paul, there is no holding back!! I kinda see him as a celebrity. His love for Jesus was so consuming that the persecution he endured was nothing to him. He used his time wisely while he was waiting on his freedom, he sent others out to spread the good word and wrote letters encouraging other followers to maintain their love and devotion to Christ.

This blog has the potential to be the longest I've ever written. I could continue to detail the stories of the chosen people who had to wait (David, Moses, Mary and Martha, etc.) but I won't. The moral of the story is once again...its not about me. Jesus didn't heal Lazarus when he was sick, but raised him from the dead because that action glorified God the most. I realize now that I have been dwelling on all the wrong questions these past few days. Questions that centered on me and not on Him. I know that He has His best in store for me and I will have to wait until He is ready to present it to me. It is for His glory and happiness, not mine.

P.S. Please remind me to re-read this when things don't work out my way!